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I am single, retired and 62. I care for my Mum (85) who has Alzheimer's and a number of mobility related problems - two knee replacements, osteoarthritis and osteoporosis.
Mum still manages to live independently in her own home with me visiting daily to ensure she takes her medication; do housework; shopping and provide chauffeuring services as required. But day by day she is becoming more confused and retreating into the past. I only live a couple of miles away so if she needs me at any time I can be with her in five minutes or so by car.
Before I retired we always said that once I had finished with work we would have more holidays; more days out and explore more in general - but this is not now possible. Any change to Mum’s usual routine she finds distressing and confusing. Now my life is circumscribed by the need to be always available - my social life is almost non-existent and holidays are a thing of the past. I know eventually I will have to move in with Mum to look after her and, frankly, don’t know how I will cope. Having lived on my own for the last thirty plus years the thought of having to share a space with someone (even my Mum !) is not something I’m looking forward to.
I have a sister who is still working so is unable to spend a lot of time with Mum and at, times, I’m quite resentful that she still has a life and I don’t. Like a lot of other carers I regularly feel guilty and selfish for wanting my life back but with the support of Carers UK forum members (my lifeline) I cope with the emotional side of caring. The good advice available helps me to cope with the practical side too !
Being retired I can’t claim Carer's Allowance, but would like to see it increased for those who can claim it and feel that it shouldn’t stop once carers retire and claim their pensions - as others have said - we don’t stop caring just because we retire ! Too many carers spent valuable time just trying to make ends meet , trying to stretch meagre funds to new lengths.
Support for carers
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